Chapter 3- Does Divorce Have to be a Death

Does Divorce have to be a Death Sentence?

Glen was a mean controlling man and seemed to derive pleasure from his power over mom. He controlled their joint checking account, he controlled the TV programs, he controlled where they ate, he controlled the thermostat, he controlled her flower garden and how much free water she used on her plants. etc. etc. etc. These things may seem trivial, to the outsider, but I saw it as a form of abuse. It saddened me to see her make all the compromises in the relationship.

Before mom built her retirement home, she’d moved out of Glens farmhouse 3 times, she got an Apt. the first time, then after a year moved back with him. Then she left again and moved in with her twin sister in W. Va. Then back with him, and finally moved in with me. This all happened the 1st 9 yrs. of their marriage. Each time she left him, he’d stalk her and coax her to come back and she would go back to him, hoping he’d changed and he did for a little while and then right back to his old ways. The last time she left him, he wanted her back, again, but this time she blatantly refused. She’d had enough. She finally moved in with me for a few months and then decided to build herself a nice new retirement home. Mom was looking for land to build on. Glen was looking for his ‘housekeeper’ and renter back. 130360154156051385So, Glen offered mom a little over an acre of empty land next to his farmhouse. He told her she could have the land, if she’d take care of him. He would stay in his farmhouse and she would stay in her new home. She was to fix his meals, clean his house and go to his Dr. appointments with him, that was the deal. Mom thought that was so nice of him to give her the land and took him up on the offer. She built a lovely ranch style home and bought all new furniture. It was what mom wanted all her life.

Glen still lived next door in his old farmhouse, but eventually, he weaseled his way into mom’s nice new home and wouldn’t leave. The new house was very comfortable and spacious and had all the modern conveniences. They each had their own bedroom and bath. I was a wonderful retirement home.
Once Glen got comfortable in his new surroundings, he was in control again. He sold his farmhouse, cattle, and all his land to his grandson, Kevin. Little did mom know, Glen had an ulterior motive. The deed to the new home she built was in Glen’s grandson’s name, Kevin Gallwitz. He never transferred the property to my mother. Two years later, mom had some surveillance done on her land and found out that Kevin and his wife Crystal, owned her new home. Glen was so sneaky, he purposely didn’t put the land in mom’s name and when she asked him about it, he acted like it was a mistake.
My mother was such a generous, trusting woman, and Glen took full advantage of her kindness. When Glen would put ridiculous limits on her, I’d go over his head and get her whatever she wanted. For instance, she wanted to plant flowers around her new house. Glen said no, because he didn’t want to mow around them. I promised him that we would mulch them so it would be easy to mow around, but he still refused.

A few years went and on mothers day, one year, I bought her several flats of flowers and we planted them all around her house. They were beautiful. The next time he cut the grass he mowed them all down. I was fuming and told Glen how I felt, so he finally broke down and designated ‘one spot’ for her flowers, but if he thought she watered them too much, he’d take pliers to the hose nozzle and bend it so she couldn’t hook it to the faucet, then I’d have to buy her a new hose. I must have bought at least ten hoses. By the way the water was free.

I was always nice to Glen, I was taught to respect my elders, but on occasion he pushed too far. I didn’t like the way he treated my mother or her pets. When I’d start to say something to him, mom would stop me and say, “Don’t rock the boat”, so most of the time, I kept my mouth shut. I don’t know why she let him bully her so much, after all, he was living in her house. I think she had a touch of ‘Emotionally Battered Woman’s Syndrome’.

I spent every Sunday at mom’s house for the last 9 years and tried to provide for all of her and Glen’s needs. I’d call her every day, to see if she was being treated OK or needed anything from the store. I guess you could say I was her and Glen’s caregiver. After she built her new home, I cooked all their meals, did their grocery shopping, cleaned their house, did their laundry, cut their hair, clipped their toenails, took them on outings, did the yard work, took them to Dr. appointments, picked up their medications from the drug store, took their blood pressure regularly and often cleaned up after Glen’s accidents, when he’d take too many laxatives and messed his pants, which was often.

Mom was so unhappy living with Glen. He’d sit all day, watching TV with the remote in one hand and his bank statements in the other hand. Glen had invested his money from the sale of his farm, into bank CD’s and stocks, and was worth nearly a million dollars and he wasn’t short on bragging about it. Mom and I got so tired of hearing him boast.

The only time he interacted with mom, was to ask her to bring him something, quite often a fudgesicle. I never once heard him say please or thank you. He never took her on a vacation or bought her a gift, in the 18 years that she and I took care of him. He was so ungrateful and so were his kids.
Mom started to feel lonely and degraded, again, after Glen moved into her new home and took over. She put up with him for 9 more years, then she finally made the decision to get a divorce. So, I made her an appointment to see her attorney, on Aug.20, 2007. She and Glen were both 85 yrs. of age at the time and mom wanted to enjoy the rest of her life and escape her controlling thoughtless husband. Mom was in excellent health and Glen’s health was failing fast, she had a lot of good years left and didn’t want to spend them taking care of a selfish old man. Eighteen years was long enough. Besides, he had 7 adult children, all living close that could take care of him.

Mother made it clear to Glen and his oldest son Wayne, who was Glens executor, that when she got her divorce, she wanted nothing from Glen. She just wanted her house and her furniture.

But the prenup said something different and the idea of a divorce obviously didn’t set well with my step brother Steve and his family, especially since Glen accumulated another half million dollars since he married mom. Glen would have to move out of his luxurious home, lose his housekeeper and caregiver and move in with one of his kids or buy mom out of the rental house, that they owned together and move into it. Then his kids would be responsible for his care. None of those choices were going to be an option for my selfish, greedy step siblings, with the exception of Dave, Butch and Mary. I’m sure they had nothing to do with the death of my mother or the theft of her property.

The rest of them are money hungry and heartless like their dad. Some apples don’t fall far from the tree.

With mom planning a divorce, Glen, Steve, Nancy, Kevin and Crystal felt threatened and had to stop her and make sure she didn’t get any of what they considered to be their inheritance. Carefully planning their strategy, they started by tampering with her medications, putting way too many blood thinners in her daily dosage. Then it finally got down to the last night before mom was to sign papers with her attorney. They waited until I left mom’s house shortly after 6:00pm and they put their conspiracy into action …

Within a 4 hour period, on that Sunday eveninq, mom mysteriously ended up with sudden brain stem damage from head trauma, causing swelling and bleeding of her brain and ultimately her death. This all happened the very night before she was to sign documents with her attorney I making changes in her ”Will” and filing for a divorce .. Her death was ruled as “natural”. I don’t believe there is anything natural about a bleeding, swelling brain and brain stem damage, due to head trauma. The timing of mom’s death couldn’t have been more convenient and profitable for my step family. Those details next…